If only to say what I really mean...

Dear Father,

I know I was not the son that you dreamed of. You wanted someone simple, someone who didn't think too much, someone who was not overly ambitious. Perhaps you wanted your son to continue the legacy of you and your father before you, living out simple lives, close to the people you love. Perhaps, I shall even go so far as to say, you would have probably wanted a son who was a little less eccentric, someone who didn't think about the world and beyond and focused on the here and now.

For all that its worth, I am truly sorry dad. Your genes could've given birth to someone a lot like the person you wanted, (indeed, I see them all time) perhaps 9 times out of 10; but you won the unlucky lottery and ended up with me instead.

I believe someday we will look back and say, "We did the best we could under those circumstances," and though it may not seem like it, I have appreciated every little thing you have done for me. It doesn't go unnoticed dad, the cleaning of my room, the bits of money you leave for me, and even the eventual appreciation of my need for privacy. Again I reiterate; I am not a good son, and I've said some horrible things to hurt you, but I have always always appreciated everything you've done for me.

Just to let you know, that while I was growing up, I have only fond memories of your raising me. I remember the time when I was hungry in the middle of the night, and while arwah was too grumpy and sleepy to cook me something, you led me downstairs and made a plain omelette with rice, which tasted lovely at that time. I remembered you reading to me bedtime stories of the Wright brothers, the first men to fly, which I keep as inspiration up to this day.

I try to think of a bad memory I have of you dad, but I can think of nothing. You have been a good father and if your son isn't what you hoped he would be, it is not due to your failure as a parent. Sons simply don't turn out to be what you hoped them to be, and someday, when I am a father, I will grow to understand that too.

Thank you for everything you've given to me dad. I can never repay such a debt that I've owed you, but in the words of a famous poet, the plan is to let you know that I understand what you've done for me, what you've gone through, and I intend to say with all sincerity,

Thank you. And I love you.

Yours truly,
Khairie